You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
