Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
