And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
