I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
