I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
