I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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