I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
