saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
