just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
