I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Houston, we have a blender
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
