I just made out with a guy for $7.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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