if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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