As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have demons in me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
