So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize