left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
