i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
