Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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