She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
