$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
