So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
