Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
