last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
