Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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