I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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