dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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