ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
