in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
