The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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