Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
