i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
