Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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