I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
