as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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