your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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