I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
