i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm too high and old for this...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
