I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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