Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
