the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
