That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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