The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
