That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize