Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
