READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
