I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
well, you know. whores of a feather.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
