Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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