The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize