I wanna bring you to show and tell
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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