Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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