dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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