bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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