last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
