Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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