I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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