yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
