I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
