How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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