another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
