if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So many bounce houses so little time
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
