Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
