we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Send help, water and tortillas.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
